Slow Start

Well I didn't get as good a start as planned yesterday - I am either going to have to make more of an effort or revise the total. I don't want it to look to obvious as to what I am doing but do want to keep it going.

Here is what I posted yesterday.

In an MSN message I added a pic found on Google.

In an email with some links I added this one http:www.youtube.com/watch?v=actHOTEZGnE - a sweaty Japanese guy singing a love song (it made her smile). I ended the email with "I Love You" in Icelandic (would post it here but can't seem to paste it).

I emailed her today about something else and ended with "When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew" a quote from Shakespeare. Currently looking for something by that other great poet, Homer Simpson!

Thought I would say a bit more about me. Last night I attended my first A.A. meeting for many a year. I am one of "those people" who has issues with drink - I don't drink everyday but when I do I don't know when to stop and it doesn't make me a very nice person (I'm not violent or abusive, just a bit of a tosser). This is probably one of the big reasons why she is thinking of leaving. However, I have spent many a year bottling up how I feel and how I act. Yesterday I finally spilled the beans and told her how I felt inside and why I acted like I did - a real revelation for her. Because of this, and the fact I am willing to get help and stop drinking for good, she has said she will stay for now to see what happens and if I change.

Although saving the marriage is why I confronted my drinking, I am ultimately doing it to save myself. If the marriage is over (god I hope not) I still need to live my life after and for that I need to become a better person. Also we would still be in contact because of the children and neither of us plans to move from the village at the mo.

Anyway, that's it for now - I will keep looking for quotes, etc (I currently have just over 20 saved - only 979 to go) and letting her know how important she is to me, but more importantly trying to show how much I have changed and hopefully slowly, but surely, she will start to respect me and like me again and ultimately want to stay with me.