Slow Start

Well I didn't get as good a start as planned yesterday - I am either going to have to make more of an effort or revise the total. I don't want it to look to obvious as to what I am doing but do want to keep it going.

Here is what I posted yesterday.

In an MSN message I added a pic found on Google.

In an email with some links I added this one http:www.youtube.com/watch?v=actHOTEZGnE - a sweaty Japanese guy singing a love song (it made her smile). I ended the email with "I Love You" in Icelandic (would post it here but can't seem to paste it).

I emailed her today about something else and ended with "When I saw you I fell in love, and you smiled because you knew" a quote from Shakespeare. Currently looking for something by that other great poet, Homer Simpson!

Thought I would say a bit more about me. Last night I attended my first A.A. meeting for many a year. I am one of "those people" who has issues with drink - I don't drink everyday but when I do I don't know when to stop and it doesn't make me a very nice person (I'm not violent or abusive, just a bit of a tosser). This is probably one of the big reasons why she is thinking of leaving. However, I have spent many a year bottling up how I feel and how I act. Yesterday I finally spilled the beans and told her how I felt inside and why I acted like I did - a real revelation for her. Because of this, and the fact I am willing to get help and stop drinking for good, she has said she will stay for now to see what happens and if I change.

Although saving the marriage is why I confronted my drinking, I am ultimately doing it to save myself. If the marriage is over (god I hope not) I still need to live my life after and for that I need to become a better person. Also we would still be in contact because of the children and neither of us plans to move from the village at the mo.

Anyway, that's it for now - I will keep looking for quotes, etc (I currently have just over 20 saved - only 979 to go) and letting her know how important she is to me, but more importantly trying to show how much I have changed and hopefully slowly, but surely, she will start to respect me and like me again and ultimately want to stay with me.

In the Beginning

So why am I writing this blog, what is the purpose behind it, why should you read it?

My wife has fallen out of love with me and I want to win back her affections and save our marriage. We have been together for over 15 years and married for nearly 13, have three beautiful girls and a nice house in a small village. To all intents and purposes we have an ideal life, although money is tight due to only one wage coming in, but over the years I have neglected my wife to such an extent that she is now talking off ending the relationship. This has left me devastated and I am at last going to take some action and change my ways. I am recording it here in order to preserve it for myself. I am not going to show this to my wife at the moment, I want to save that until I think our relationship is getting back on track.

I tell her everyday that I love her, I just don't always show it and so my plan is over the next couple of months to try and find 1000 different ways of saying "I Love You". This is the time limit that she has given our marriage, we have some holidays planned and we are still talking and being friendly so have said we will wait until the summer. She has also said she will let me try to win back her trust and respect. I must point out that there is no one else involved, neither of us are having (or indeed have had) an affair, she has just fallen out of love with me and is wondering if she ever did.

I am planning to use different languages, pictures, lines from songs, clips from films, even graffiti if necessary. I will send her texts, instant messages, phone calls, letters, emails, anything that will show her how much she means to me and that I have put more of an effort than just mumbling some words that I say without thinking about (we have all done that haven't we). I am recording everything into an Excel Spreadsheet (that's the nerd in me showing) and will publish what I send on here, along with any other ramblings I may have. By my reckoning I have about 100 days before the children break up for summer and I move out. Therefore I am going to send her at least 10 messages a day in one form or other - I had best get a move on.

Just sent her the first one, a text saying Ti Amo - Italian for "I Love You", she studied there for a year before we met.